Stink Bug Coffee

Let me first say that coffee is completely psychological for me.  I can literally drink a cup and go right to sleep.  But for some unknown reason, I feel the need to drink it to wake myself up every morning (and sometimes in the afternoon).

I blame my first real boss, wherever he may be, for my coffee obsession.  In my first job out of college, I was a consultant in DC.  I worked on health care litigation cases.  Very exciting, right?!  Well, most of my job was watching queries run on huge databases in order to pull data to then transfer to Excel spreadsheets.  My boss, God love him, thought that this needed to be done into the wee hours of the night, EVERY NIGHT.

So I learned to drink coffee, lots and lots of coffee.

In fact, my very first coffee came from Starbucks during New Hire orientation for that job.  It was a Caramel Macchiato.  It was a good standard to set.  Of course, we drank 8 O'Clock coffee at that job, which isn't quite Starbucks.  It did its job, though.

I take my creamer and milk with a little coffee.  I am one of "those people" who hate dark coffee.  I like a little bit of flavored creamer (Coffeemate Naturals are my favorite), a little bit of milk, and then one Splenda with my joe.  I was at two Splenda packets per cup, but I've gotten myself down to one.  Yes, you could say I don't like to taste the bitterness.

I'd say my coffee consumption over the past decade or so has been pretty consistent.  I don't have to drink 5 cups a day anymore like I did in my consulting job, but I'm usually at 1 or 2, depending on whether or not I need something to keep me going in the afternoon.

Again, it's completely psychological.

Now, my husband has had quite the change in his coffee consumption since we met.  First, he was strictly into Frappacinos.  I'm not too sure those even qualify as coffee, but we'll count it.  They are delicious.  He never drank coffee on a daily basis.  Then, we had kids.

Kid #1 = Coffee on the weekends only (weird, I know), only 1/3 cup consumed.

Kid #2 = Coffee every day, 1/2 to 3/4 cup consumed.

Kid #3 = Coffee every day, whole cup consumed.

Kid #4 = Coffee every day, whole cup consumed.  Optional second cup in the afternoon.

Why the stink bug in between kids 3 and 4?  Well, one morning, my husband got up to go to work and found a stink bug floating in the Keurig water reservoir.  He knew that he wouldn't have time to stop and get coffee somewhere on the way to work, so, faced with that knowledge, he brewed his coffee.  And he drank it.  Stink bug water and all.

I almost vomited.

Now, maybe you understand the importance of coffee in our house.

We started with Keurig-style machines probably some time around #3.  It was so easy to do one cup at a time that we quickly got addicted to it.  Over the years, we have cut out the expensive K-cups, though, and now we just refill the reusable cup.  It's actually pretty simple.

But, in order to enjoy one glorious cup at a time, you have to endure the dreaded Keurig death rattle.  If you've owned one of these machines, you know what it's like.

• You try to brew your 12 ounces one morning but come back to only 10.  You pretend you don't notice.
• A couple days later, you try for 12 ounces again and come back to 6.  It's like a punch in the gut.  You brew another 6 and move on with your day as the dread starts to creep in.
• A few days after that, you go for 12 (because that's the definition of insanity, right?), and you get 4.  You go on a rant about why the machine even has a 4-ounce brewing option.  It's un-American!  
• And then, after maybe another 1-2 weeks of brewing 3 times to get a full cup, one morning the machine just doesn't turn on.  Grief sets in.

We're in stage 3 of the process right now.  We went through stage 4 about 8 months ago.  We were still under warranty for our Cuisinart and mailed it back to them.  2-3 weeks later, they sent us one back THAT WAS REFURBISHED.  

What is the point in a warranty that just trades in one broken appliance for another one that has already broken?

Boo Cuisinart.

So, surprisingly, we are already back to where we were 8 months ago.  And, of course, out of warranty.

We've had 1 Keurig, which lasted under 2 years, and then the Cuisinart, which made it about 2 and a half before the replacement piece of crap.  They are so expensive for such a short lifespan.  But what do we do now?  

Do we go back to the Stone Age of coffee making?  Multiple cups at a time?  I mean, I know those Paleo people love the Stone Age.  Can I handle washing a carafe and a filter bin every day?

Sigh.

Maybe it's time to give it up.

But, I just can't quit you, coffee.

Say a prayer for me, 

Kristin