Cat Bulimia or Shiatsu?

I want to write about our Thanksgiving, but I really have to discuss something else first.

Animals.  Why do animals vomit so much?

I understand the dog; the dog eats pretty much whatever Terrorist #4 gives him.  But the cats bewilder me.  Now, Shawn, the killer cat, could vomit up a mouse and that would make sense.  I think the other two are bulimic.  For real.

Google it.  Lots of other people believe that their cats have a problem.  I don't think it's quite like the very horrible eating disorder humans can suffer from, but it's just a similar... methodology.  I'm sure my cats are not sitting around contemplating their appearance.  My appearance?  Yes.  I think they sit around judging me, wondering when the last time I plucked my "eyebrow" was, or wondering how many days in a row I'll wear the same hoodie.

Cats are so mean.

But caring about themselves?  Nope.

Must be awesome.

Keep in mind that I'm very allergic to cats.  According to my husband, it takes me 6 months to get used to a new cat.  I remember 1 month... but the Benedryl-induced coma could account for some memory loss.

I just love the grouchy little hairballs.

I do not love Franky right now.  He is our oldest cat, but only like 3-4 years old.

My Side of the Story:

I got up Sunday morning and immediately see a lone piece of cat food sitting on the pillow that is in-between me and my husband.  [Note: He just had shoulder surgery so we have a pillow for his bad shoulder to rest on at night - and to prevent him from rolling.]

Odd, I think.  The day before I noticed a piece on the tissue box by my side of the bed.  Our bedroom is on the main floor, and the cat food is all the way in the basement.

Weird.  Why would one of the cats be bringing food onto our bed?

I go downstairs to mess with laundry.  Franky is in the litter box.  He jumps out and tracks some sort of nastiness all over the floor for about 10 yards.  Disgusting.

My husband is sleeping in, so I wake him up around 10am.

He had about 20 pieces of cat "food" embedded into his back.  He had slept on it all night.

Somehow.

He shows me the deep dimples all over his back, so I go into the room.  There's "food" all over his side.  I pull up the comforter.  There's a couple wads of definite puke, and more "food", which I will now refer to as puke.

Puke confirmed.

Puke all over the comforter, under the sheets, everywhere!  Literally about 40-50 pieces.  I am disgusted.  I am angry.  Franky was sleeping on our bed recently.  He has to be the one to blame.

But how?  Since I'm allergic and don't enjoy being kneaded or walked-on at night, we trap the cats in the basement every night.  That means the puke was from at least Saturday.  I can only imagine that he puked all over the place sometime during the day and we didn't see it and moved the comforter around.  Then as my husband pulled up covers over the course of the night, puke just fell all around him (and under him).  Somehow since I start with covers every night, I managed to escape the barrage.

We slept IN cat puke.   Bad, bad kitty.

Franky's Side of the Story:

Human wore same hoodie again today.  Ate as much as I could.  Puked on her bed.  Bet she won't wear that hoodie again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My husband says his puke shiatsu wasn't really all that bad.  He just couldn't stomach breakfast that morning.

I have to say that I thought it was pretty funny.  I laughed and laughed until it hurt.

That is, until I realized I had to wash my entire bed... twice.

Today's Lesson: Make your bed.  It makes it easier to find the cat puke.

Say a prayer for me,

Kristin