Sleep deprivation.
Some sites date the use of sleep deprivation as torture back to the Catholic Inquisition in the 1400s. I don't think you can really say that any one person invented it, though. Terrorist #4 still poops in her diaper and can't go up and down the stairs by herself, but she has somehow become an expert at it.
I was up at 5:45am this morning due to moans coming through the baby monitor. Our alarm doesn't go off until 6:30. Ughhhhhhhhh.
On Monday night, she began moaning sometime around 3am. I have the baby monitor turned down pretty low, so I tried to sleep through most of it. Of course, that still means waking up every 10 minutes just to toss and turn.
I finally got up at 5:30am, deciding that I couldn't handle the moaning anymore and I'd give in to the Terrorist's demands. She got half a bottle of milk, and went happily back to sleep. All I could think about was that I only had one hour until the alarm was going to go off. I got back in bed for about 15 minutes and then decided to just get up. I knew my night was over.
I really, REALLY hate trying to sleep on a schedule. If I know that I only have a certain amount of time to sleep, I cannot fall asleep. Does anyone else do this? It is literally the stupidest thing in the world. If I have. say, an hour and a half to nap, it takes me 45 minutes just to fall asleep because I worry that I only have an hour and a half!
It's not the terrorists' fault that I do this, but I can still blame it on them. They pushed the deprivation on me when I was pregnant 10 years ago, and it never let up.
Every child has taken at least a year to sleep through the night.
Every. Single. Terrorist.
Terrorist #4 will be 2 in February, making her almost exactly 21 months old. She still gets up about 50% of the time to eat half a bottle sometime in the middle of the night. It definitely helps her maintain her chubby thighs, but it doesn't help me with my sanity.
And if she sleeps through the night, then someone else has a coughing fit. Or pukes. Or the ghost turns on the bathroom light in the hallway.
According to good ol' Wikipedia, I can blame sleep deprivation on lots of my problems:
Häggström, Mikael. "Medical gallery of Mikael Häggström 2014".Wikiversity Journal of Medicine 1 (2). DOI:10.15347/wjm/2014.008. ISSN 20018762.
Let's see...
- Irritability - check
- Cognitive impairment - check
- Memory lapses - triple check
- Impaired immune system - check
- Decreased temperature - check
- Risk of obesity - shoot me
What the terrorists don't realize is that torturing us just tortures them in return. It's not a very good plan for them. If we're too tired or in a bad mood, that's not going to help get them to Monkey Joe's or Chuck E Cheese.
Maybe one day the terrorists will realize that torturing us is not in their best interest.
Yet, my inner cynic thinks that maybe they've been bought off by the coffee industry. If that's the case, then they've already won.
I hope that they at least got enough to pay for college.
Say a prayer for me,
Kristin
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